I have been in Philadelphia in a program for my weight since the end of June. I became stressed out, depressed and sick. I had someone in my life who were telling me I was physically unattractive and not significant. They would go through the list of girls that were “better than me” I even heard that Samantha Ronson was better looking than me! I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. The experts that I speak to on a regular basis says this person was most likely a contributing factor in this, even though the tendencies may have been there longer. I am furious with this person and how they treated me. They say I have every right to be.
I was hospitalized 9 times this year due to electrolyte imbalances, blackouts, internal organ problems, and malnutrition. It is very difficult to enter a program, even with insurance. Most insurances will cover for drug and chemical dependency, but not eating disorders. Plus, it is not even legal for programs to recommend an insurance company that may cover. It took me 6 months for me to get excepted by one. By the time I was excepted, this person had left, saying, “I don’t care what happens to you.” I would never put someone else through that and be able to sleep at night. It felt like I had nothing left.
I entered this world renown program on June 28, 2010. I weighed 80 pounds, which dropped to 78 pounds within a few days. I was examined by internist who ruled that by body could no longer absorb food or the medications. I would have died. I was hospitalized for yet another month, on IVs, and later on a feeding tube. I would have to eat one food a day until my body could produce digestive emzymes starting with rice, then baby food, (the fruit ones were actually good) eventually I was able to eat most things and my weight went up.
As of today I am making arrangements to leave the program on September 17th. On Tuesday I will be looking into another program part-time in Las Vegas, which was one of the cities I was looking into moving to anyway. I just want to make sure I continue to do well. I have no idea how much I weigh and am not sure I want to know,( although I miss my Hello Kitty scale, heeheehee)
It is very dificult for me to go public with this, go easy on me.