Gia Jordan’s stripper rant. Circa 2001

August 4, 2011 at 4:19 pm (adult, personal, Uncategorized) ()

Gia Jordan is one of my closest friends in the industy. In fact, I’m suprised this is the first time she made my blog! Gia is a very talented photographer, as well as a humorous writer! This is what she wrote pre-porn, as a stripper in 2001.

dude, if i keep doing the graceful move-away turned into a dance move every time youre trying to reach my cunt, i think that answers your question when you ask if you can touch my cunt.  and don’t look forlorn when i tell you then go back to your table and tell your buddies i’m a bitch.  

no, i dont want to kiss you.

si yo hablo espanol.  i’m still going to ask you for dances.

not my fault you spent half the song removing your keys, cell phone, fanny pack, and loose change all to make me feel more comfortable during the dance.  if it makes you feel more comfortable, awesome.  personally, i can’t tell the difference.  if you’re so concerned about my comfort, stop touching me.

just because we have a bunch of shit in common doesn’t mean i’ll go out with you.  it’s called a sales tactic.

we can only do the 2-for1’s when they call them; otherwise, they’ll charge you for 2.

don’t ask me how much a dance cost then ask how much a 2-for-1 costs.

yes, they’ve raised the dance prices in the last 6 years.  my landlord has also raised my rent.

i have no idea why there aren’t a lot of guys here.  are you here for the other guys?

no, we don’t serve alcohol.  quit bitching and bring a flask.

no, i don’t want to see you outside the club.  thanks for demanding i work on my off time.

stop saying you get better dances in vegas.  you don’t.  clubs there have 100 new dancers/day and spare no remorse firing a girl.

no shit they didn’t play the songs the whole way through.  if they did, every guy would be waiting for stairway to heaven.  

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